What Not to Say During Sorority Recruitment

Updated 4/20/2026

Whether you've heard it as the 4 B's or the 5 B's, here's what each one means, why it's on the list, and what to say instead.

From our Sorority Recruitment Guide.

You've probably heard the advice before: there are certain topics to avoid during sorority recruitment. Someone at orientation will mention the B's—but depending on who's giving the advice, you might hear 4, 5, or even 6.

The original list was the 4 B's: Booze, Boys, Bucks, and Beliefs. But Beliefs has gotten complicated enough that it's worth splitting into two: Beliefs and Ballots. That gets you to 5. And if you count Buildings (more on that below), you could make a case for 6.

The number doesn't really matter. What matters is understanding why each one is on the list—because the advice makes a lot more sense when you know the reasoning. These aren't arbitrary etiquette rules. They're about protecting your chances in a short, high-pressure process where one off-topic comment can derail a conversation that was otherwise going really well. Chapter members are coached to avoid these topics too, so the responsibility isn't entirely on you—but knowing where the landmines are helps.

🍸 Booze (and Drugs)

This one tops every list for a reason. Even a joke about drinking can introduce a liability question. Chapters know you're in college. They're not assuming you're sober. But the moment you bring it up, you've handed them an unnecessary reason to hesitate.

Recruitment is competitive, and small signals matter more than people realize. Every minute spent talking about your party highlights is a minute you're not showing leadership, follow-through, or what kind of friend you actually are.

✅ Do Talk about your summer job, your pets, why you chose your school or major, or something you're genuinely proud of.

❌ Don't Bring up prom afterparties, your boozy gap year, or anything involving weed or edibles—even if they're legal where you live.

The same goes for vaping. Mentioning it might feel casual, but it reads the same way drinking does—like a liability flag you didn't need to raise.

💌 Boys (and Frats—and also Girlfriends, Exes, Situationships...)

We're calling it "Boys" because it's the B's, but this one covers the full spectrum: boyfriends, girlfriends, crushes, exes, hookups, the guy from SAE you've been DM'ing.

The issue isn't that chapters care who you're dating. It's that talking about your romantic life shifts the focus away from you as a potential sister—and onto someone who isn't part of the process. There's also risk: you don't know who in that chapter knows your situationship, dated your ex, or has complicated feelings about that frat. You don't know what history your recruiter brings into the room.

If you're in a relationship and it comes up naturally, you don't have to pretend otherwise. Just don't name names if you can avoid it, and pivot back to something that actually shows who you are.

✅ Do Talk about your friend group, a moment that shows you're a loyal person, or what made your high school community special.

❌ Don't Bring up your relationship status unprompted, anyone else's relationship status, or opinions about specific fraternities.

If someone asks what you'll miss about home and you reply "My boyfriend goes to Michigan State and I'll miss him"? Fine. Saying "Do you know anyone in Sigma Chi?" or "I hooked up with this guy Ethan last week and ran into him this morning"? Not fine.

💸 Bucks

You might not even realize you're doing it. You're just talking about your winter break or your graduation gifts, right? Leading with a designer haul, a luxury trip, or expensive plans can come across as braggy or status-conscious—even when that's genuinely not your intention. The gap between sharing something fun and inadvertently flexing is surprisingly narrow.

The fix is easy: focus on what you did, not how exclusive or expensive it was. Did you go skiing with your family every winter? Great story. Did you "take the PJ to Aspen"? Different feel. Same trip, very different impression.

As for dues: asking about them is the responsible thing to do, especially if it's a decision point for you, but save it for later rounds when you've already shown genuine interest in the chapter. Too early and it can read as uncertainty about whether you can commit.

✅ Do Talk about the internship you took seriously, the athletic challenge you trained for, the tutoring business you ran.

❌ Don't Lead with the LoveShackFancy haul, the Louis Vuitton graduation gift, or the Ritz-Carlton mother-daughter trip.

These details might not feel like bragging in your world—but in a short conversation with someone you just met, they can sound like it. The goal is to show your values, not your tax bracket.

🙏 Beliefs (Religion and Social Issues)

This one's nuanced, and it's worth separating into two parts: religion and social issues—because they carry different levels of risk.

Religion: If your most meaningful leadership or community involvement is tied to your church, temple, or mosque, you don't have to bury that. Lead with the skills and values it represents—public speaking, community organizing, compassion, service—rather than the doctrine itself. The goal is to show who you are, not invite a theological debate.

Social issues carry more risk, because your views—however universal you think they are—can turn off a recruiter even if the majority of the chapter agrees with you. You don't know how this person feels, and you won't get a chance to walk it back if something lands wrong.

If by pref round you're still not sure whether you'd find your people in a chapter, that's when to ask—about DEI initiatives, about what the chapter values, about what the community feels like.

A note on majors that sound political: If you're a poli sci major—or studying something controversial—don't lie about it. Position it as leadership training, public service, and understanding how systems work. Sororities value future leaders. Keep the conversation on your ambitions, not your stances.

✅ Do Highlight your leadership, your service work, the skills your involvement has built.

❌ Don't Open with religious or political stances, share your views on hot-button social issues, or make assumptions about what the chapter believes.

Even if a chapter's reputation feels aligned with your beliefs, you never know how the specific person in front of you feels. One comment about a polarizing social issue—or a joke about religion—and suddenly someone who was genuinely excited about you is reconsidering.

🗳️ Ballots (Politics and World Events)

"Don't talk politics" has gotten a lot more complicated. It's not just about elections—it's also about global events, ongoing conflicts, and policy debates that feel impossible to avoid right now. Don't misrepresent yourself or pretend these things aren't important—just understand that if you're talking about world issues, you're not talking about you.

Some obvious examples: President Trump, Gaza, DEI and affirmative action, immigration. Less obvious: student loan forgiveness, climate policy, AI. Don't assume your recruiter is aligned with you—issues hit differently depending on someone's family background, personal history, or community.

You might offend her, or you might not—but it could easily become the only thing she remembers about you. And if you offend her, it'll be really hard to salvage that conversation!

(Side note: this B has stood for Bush, Barack, and Biden at different points.)

✅ Do Talk about issues through the lens of values or service—why you care about your community, what leadership means to you.

❌ Don't Bring up elections, share your views on divisive topics, or assume you know where the chapter stands.

During rush, the goal is to be remembered for your energy, your interests, and how it felt to talk to you—not for the political comment you made in round one.

TL;DR

This isn't about hiding who you are or pretending the outside world doesn't exist. It's about being intentional with the short time you have. The B's exist to keep the spotlight on you—your character, your talents, your potential as a sister—without introducing friction.

You've got a whole lifetime in the sorority for real, thoughtful conversations about the tough stuff.

PS: What About Buildings?

Some people include Buildings (or Brownstones, on city campuses) with the B's.

The idea isn't that you shouldn't ask about housing—it's about being mindful of how certain questions land. Asking a chapter whether they're planning to get a house, or whether they wish they had one, can make members feel like you value that over sisterhood. Sure, having a house or not impacts the sorority experience and you should consider that in your decisions—just be sensitive about how you ask.

Recruitment Conversation FAQs

Is it 4 B's or 5 B's?
Both are in circulation. The original list was 4 (Booze, Boys, Bucks, Beliefs), but as politics has become its own separate minefield from religion and social issues, many people now count Ballots as a fifth.

Why can't I talk about my boyfriend or frats during rush?
Talking about relationships shifts the focus away from you as a potential sister—and there's always a chance someone in the chapter has history with whoever you bring up.

Can I ask about dues during recruitment?
Absolutely, it's the responsible thing to do, but timing matters. Save it for later rounds, once you've shown genuine interest in the chapter.

Can I mention my church or religious involvement?
Yes, if it's a real part of your story. Lead with what it says about your character—the leadership roles you held, the community you built—rather than the beliefs themselves.

What if my major sounds controversial?
Don't hide it—reframe it. Focus on the leadership, public service, or analytical angle. The goal is to show your ambitions, not your positions.

What happens if I accidentally bring up one of the B's?
It's not the end of the world. Once you recognize it, redirect to a safe subject. If you realize it after the fact, let's hope you said something more memorable in other parts of the conversation!

What should you say instead? Check out What to Say During Sorority Recruitment or head back to our Sorority Recruitment Guide for more.

What Not to Say During Sorority Recruitment: The 4 B’s or the 5 B's