What to Ask Each Round of Sorority Recruitment

Updated 6/2/2026

Sorority recruitment is a two-way conversation, and the questions you ask are part of what makes you memorable. Here's what to ask at every round, from Open House through Pref.

From our Sorority Recruitment Guide

In this post: Round 1: Open House | Round 2: Philanthropy | Round 3: Sisterhood and House Tours | Round 4: Preference | Do's and Don'ts

The questions you ask matter as much as the answers you give

You could walk into sorority recruitment thinking your job is to be impressive: say the right things, tell the right stories, don't trip over the 5 B's. But recruitment is a conversation, and you're holding up half of it. The questions you ask say just as much about you as your answers do, sometimes more.

When you ask a member something she actually wants to answer, something that makes her light up or stop and think, you stop being just another PNM (Potential New Member) and start being the person she remembers when it's time to score. And your questions don't just create connection—they signal your values, your curiosity, and what kind of member you'd be. A question about someone's personal growth tells a recruiter you think about your own. A question about service tells her you care about impact. Your qualities come through in what you're drawn to ask, even when you're not talking about yourself.

The trap is asking generic questions. "What's your favorite philanthropy event?" gets you a polite answer and zero connection. The fix is being genuinely curious about the member in front of you, not just quizzing her about her chapter. It's just as important to be interested as it is to be interesting.

One more thing: the right question changes as recruitment goes on. Conversations get longer and more personal at each round, and your questions should match. Asking someone "what would you miss most if you left?" at Open House is too much, and asking about her major at Pref is too little. Here's how to calibrate.

Before you go further, if you're new to all of this, start with our recruitment overview so you've got a foundation.
→ What is Sorority Recruitment?

Round 1: Open House

Open House is high-energy and casual. Conversations are short—maybe five to ten minutes each—so you don't have time to go deep. At some schools, this round is on video, which makes warmth even more important. Your goal is to come across as someone a recruiter genuinely enjoyed talking to and wants to know more about. Give her something to remember: your curiosity, your energy, what you care about.

"What surprised you most about this chapter after you joined?" This shows genuine interest in the chapter; it's personal enough to get an unpolished, real answer—maybe she'll mention something they do at chapter meetings that she didn't expect, or a friendship that surprised her. That kind of answer opens the door to a real exchange, and it signals that you're thinking beyond the surface.

"Why did you join a sorority?" This puts you on common ground immediately, and people love reflecting on their own "why." You'll often get a more honest answer than you'd expect—maybe she almost didn't sign up, maybe her roommate dragged her to it, maybe she was the first in her family. Whatever she says, it makes the interaction feel human, and it gives your recruiter a reason to remember you as someone who's thoughtful and present.

"What's a class you've taken here that you actually loved?" Skip "what's your major," which gets you a one-word answer and a dead end. Asking about a class she loved is specific, and it gets her talking about something with real enthusiasm. Maybe she'll mention a sociology professor who changed how she thinks, or a chem lab she didn't expect to love. Enthusiasm is contagious, and a conversation that feels alive is one she'll remember. Bonus: if you have shared academic interests, that's another connection.

Round 2: Philanthropy

Each round gets a little more serious, and Philanthropy is where conversations start to have more substance. You'll have more time with each member, and the chapter will share the cause they support and what it means to them. There's a natural opening to connect on values, but make sure you're connecting with her, not just the cause.

"Was [philanthropy name] on your radar before joining?" It gets right to the point without making her explain herself at length. If the answer is yes, you learn something about her values before college. If the answer is no, you find out the chapter shaped that in her—which is just as interesting. Either way, it's a quick, easy opener that feels conversational, not like an interview question, and it leaves room for her to take the answer wherever she wants.

"What's something you've done with the chapter that meant more to you than you thought it would?" This invites a story instead of a sales pitch. You're not asking her to recite the chapter's values—you're asking her to share a moment that actually moved her. Maybe it was a service day that felt different from the ones she'd done in high school, or a conversation with someone the sorority's philanthropy supports. Those are the answers that feel genuine, and lead to a warmer, more personal conversation.

"Okay, totally switching gears—what are you watching?" A deliberate, playful pivot. After a few minutes of meaningful conversation, a light question like this is a breath of fresh air, and it makes you the easy, fun PNM she actually enjoyed talking to. Some of the best recruitment connections happen when two people realize they're both deep in "Love Island" or have strong opinions about which Housewives franchise is the best. Connection isn't built only on deep conversation. Sometimes it's built on the stuff you'd actually text about.

Round 3: Sisterhood and House Tours

Conversations are longer now and noticeably more personal. You're touring the house, seeing where members actually eat lunch and get ready for formals, and the chapter is showing you what day-to-day membership looks like. This is your chance to find out what it really feels like from the inside—ask about real life, not the highlight reel.

"Who was the first person you really clicked with here?" This gets her telling a friendship story, which is both disarming and revealing. You learn how connections actually form in the chapter—was it her first week, or did it take a semester? Did they meet at a chapter event or over late-night studying? People are at their warmest when they're talking about their friends, and that warmth spills over onto you. It also tells the recruiter that you care about real relationships, which is exactly what chapters want in a new member.

"What does a normal night in look like for you guys—not an event night, just a regular Tuesday?" The big events are on every chapter's Insta. What you actually want to know is what ordinary life feels like, because that's most of what membership is. Maybe they do homework together in the living room, maybe someone always bakes scones, maybe Tuesdays are informal game night. This question is hard to answer with a canned response, so you'll get something real—and it helps you genuinely picture yourself there.

"What's something about living here that would surprise people?" This lets her reveal the chapter's real personality—the inside jokes, the quirks, the stuff that makes it feel like home rather than a recruitment presentation. It's the kind of question that produces a specific, memorable answer: Sunday pancakes, the veggie garden behind the house, their version of a hotel business center. Specific details are what make a conversation stick for both of you.

Round 4: Preference

Pref is the most personal and emotional round. Conversations are longer, and members will share why their chapter matters to them on a deeper level. You're about to sign your MRABA, so this is the last real conversation you'll have before you rank. Your questions should match that sincerity—and if there's anything practical you're still unclear on (dues, living requirements, scheduling, time commitments), ask now. This is the time.

"What would you miss most if you weren't part of this chapter?" This goes straight to the heart of it. You're asking her to name what she values most about her sisterhood, and the answer tells you what this chapter is really about at its core. It's sincere without being heavy, and it gives you genuine insight as you head into one of the biggest decisions of recruitment. It also signals to your recruiter that you're taking this seriously and thinking about where you truly belong.

"When did this go from a group you joined to people who feel like family?" This invites a specific, often emotional story—the moment it became real for her. You're not asking her to convince you, you're asking her to remember, and those answers tend to be honest and unguarded. Maybe it was the night someone drove her to the ER at 3 AM, or the group that showed up for her debate tournament. It's the kind of question that creates a real moment between two people, which is the whole point of Pref.

"What's something being part of this sisterhood has taught you about yourself?" A reflective, personal question that meets the energy of the round. It signals that you're thinking deeply about what membership means—not just where you'll have the best time, but how it could shape you. And her answer helps you understand what this chapter actually cultivates in its members: confidence, patience, vulnerability, whatever it is. That's information you can't get any other way.

A Few Do's and Don'ts

Good questions work only if the conversation around them feels natural, so a few quick tips:

• DO ask follow-up questions. You ask her about her chapter involvement, she says she's Social Chair, don't stop there—ask why she ran for social, what she didn't expect, what's hardest, something specific. That's where things get interesting.
• DON'T ask anything you could have found on the chapter's website or Instagram. "What's your philanthropy?" or "how many members are in your chapter?" signals you didn't do your homework. Save your questions for the things you genuinely can't learn anywhere else: her, her experience, and what this sisterhood actually feels like from the inside.
• DO leave room for her to ask questions. Don't fire off your questions like a checklist. You're having a conversation, not conducting an interview. Ask one, actually listen to the answer, and let it lead you somewhere before you move on.
• DON'T ask questions that will make things awkward. Don't assume anything about your recruiter and be careful when you ask about her family or romantic relationships.

Recruitment moves fast, but the conversations that stick are the ones where both people felt like they were actually talking to each other. Ask the kind of questions you'd want someone to ask you—and let her answers shape the conversation from there.

→ Back to our Sorority Recruitment Guide

More sorority advice:
→ What Not to Say During Sorority Recruitment
→ Psychology-Backed Secrets to Stand Out
→ What to Wear to Every Round